A roller coaster ride of emotions!

Here we go again! The amusement park is open for business, but it seems like only the roller coaster is all that's running and I keep getting back in line. A roller coaster has a lot of emotions and psychical feelings attached to it. First is the anticipation as you wait your turn. I wait with anticipation to how this next scan comes out. Frustration creeps in as you wait in the long line. I do get frustrated at the process and the hoops you have to go through to get things going. Anxiety sets in as you get strapped in to your seat. I have anxiety over the fact that is this working, could I be doing something more! Next is the adrenaline rush as you climb that first big incline and crest the peak to start the descent. As I go into a procedure I get keyed up on adrenaline the blood starts flowing and the mind reels with excitement that something is getting done. Fear is next with all the other emotions put aside this is the one I deal with the most, as you race down the rails to the bottom of the hill your mind reels with the thoughts of what if the car flies off the track and you face deaths door. I feel this most often as it haunts you day in and day out, because you don't know and always wonder what if. Dread is there as you head for the next drop or cork screw. I dread the next round knowing that putting these drugs into my body is like taking poison. Sickness as your body is tossed about the ride is the psychical part that comes with the treatments. Happiness when the ride comes to a stop and your emotions fade away to anticipation of trying it again. My happiness comes from so many things, first it's in the knowledge that I have a God that is all powerful and loving and I'm his no matter what happens, next is the loving family that I have and can't live without. Also the love and support I've found from all the friends old and new alike. It brings me so much happiness that it trumps all the other emotions and gives me the strength to continue to keep putting one foot in front of the other to battle on and defeat this disease. So with that I'm ready to board that roller coaster tomorrow as I start my next round.

Thank again for the support and may God bless on and all!

with love, Dave and family